… or Fangirl, for that matter (yes TB, I’m talking to YOU).
Dedicated to you all for suffering through this phase. And the team that’s just not confident at the moment.
As we indulge ourselves in the ridiculous deed of screaming and shouting because we just cannot wait until the start of a victorious match, the folks over at FC Inter News have a
fun mediocre editorial list by the great Alessandro Cavasinni that was just made 1,000-times-better-and-more-fun by FedeNerazzurra (and more readable too). It is a nice way to slow us for the moment and wind down to breathe… in order to celebrate the phenomenal 105th birthday of Inter [without reminding ourselves of that loss]. And since theirs was a bit… tamed… I decided to beef it up just a tad hint.
So… here we are. The start of the one hundred… and fifth year for us. What an intense life of winning. It’s unique, isn’t it? Tonight, we’ve got to deal with the debacle (or joke, if you want to call it) of London and take on Bologna. We need to show their Bolognese sauces a taste of their own medicine. Hmmm… spicy! [Update: Or, as-is the case of
science fiction REALITY, they could show us how they make their ragù alla bolognese with their 0-1 win. There were strands of pasta left all over our midfield and, SOMEBODY CLEARLY FORGOT THE PROSCIUTTO before arriving on the pitch. After all, there was a dull bit of emptiness that plagued the field, and we had to rely on our beloved wine... the Stella Pinot Grigio (preferrably 2003, not shaken, but stirred, yes) in order to come to our senses again. Or rather, escape further from the hard reality of the loss.] However, perhaps what disappointed me the most… is that I didn’t see Rocchi on the pitch today. I mean, come on… the wise bloke could have scored a hat-trick or two!
Now don’t get me wrong… I don’t walk with my nose spiked high up in the air like a chauvinist and throw around masochist slogans like, “Only Inter can regather after a 0-2 and then take the win” and then witness yet another blowing defeat down the line. Or two. Armed with this mind-blowing insight of knowledge in revelation, I set out to change the world. We’re tired of the superficiality. Interismi. There was nothing original nor unique about the White Hart Lane game. Oh, wait. There was. Unusually high levels of a substance by the name of ‘anger‘ suffered only by us; this plague of anger is catastrophically making Interisti around the world extremely ill. Oh… and it happened again on Sunday. Though it’s getting late, the Boys San were off to file some complaints. (As we already went over the description, someone has some explaining to do for forgetting the prosciutto for the Bologna match). So, before the transformation beings… here to some three cheers, are 105 tips (unsolicitedly not required) to every Nerazzurri out there on their [rather torture-filled] first couple of days after the anniversary to cheer you up. Hip hip… hooray!
Let’s get started…
“We are Internazionale because we are brothers of the world.” With this in mind, you just don’t need anything else.
[It's true... Inter is one of the first clubs to offer international players and this is reflected in our name. And look at our fans... they're all around the universe! Throughout this millennium, we have had many Interisti everywhere... from Venetians, Romans, Bolognese, Milanese, Sicilians. And a Martian one too!]
Football Club Internazionale Milano is the title of this club that rose from Associazione Calcio Milan. The new club was born from a deplorable schism… face with many misunderstandings created within the Milan Club and confusion. Mostly composed of a majority of active footballers and several fans. The best intentions and an optimum willingness are the basic foundations of the new organization that now promise good things (in small numbers, though). The primary goal of this new club was to facilitate and develop the exercise of football to foreign players living in Milan (but unable to play in the Italian-only AC Milan). The second goal was to spread the existing passion amongst the youth Milanese. A highly praiseworthy welcome to all. We wished for a lasting life, prosperity… and most importantly, to those who agreed to enter the organization in agreement of partnership, a good will necessary for all good intentions known to be successful (as described by Gazzetta dello Sport; the March of 1908). Looks like we already understood everything.
Do not betray Inter.
Always stay together, even through difficult times.
Never believe what the opponents say about you: I am envious.
[Juve fans tease Reference.]
Be wary of the masochist fans: they fear teasing and mockery, and proceed in trying to avoid it by using terrible irony.
Go ahead and list your trophies. Answer the compliments. Make them. But only if you have won them honestly.
You talk about “cardboard” patches, recalling and reminiscing about Ben Johnson and Lance Armstrong.
[Inauthentic phonies Reference.]
Watch every match; don’t trust what anyone else tells you.
Forget the youth project. We’re in Italy. Come on… it’s 2013!
The grass will always be greener… certainly not as much as that of his cousin!
[AC Milan Reference (shared stadium).]
Remember, we have our president, Massimo Moratti.
The Curva Nord. The best one. There is none other. There, the derby is always won.
It’s called the ‘Giuseppe Meazza Stadium.’ It will be called so even when we build an all-new Inter.
The very phenomenon that we’ve built bit us in the back. The other clubs slowly copied.
[Reference to Catenaccio style of play that became the symbol of Italian football (tactics).]
Irony is one thing. Masochism is another.
Remember, we had our president, Angelo Moratti.
Avoid embarrassing attempts specifically constructed to attack Inter (hematologists, sorry).
[Bad blood between clubs Reference.]
We pulled off the Treble. The real one.
Whoever tells you “Inter had not won anything for the last 45 years,” answer back “your love goes beyond any trophies won.” Especially the dishonestly-won ones.
If they insist and tell you that you’re just making up excuses, remind them that sports aren’t just about victories.
If they continue to persist, then tell them that the Scudetti and three UEFA Cups (Europa League) are not exactly “nothing.”
If they STILL insist, tell them that you don’t know what Serie B feels like. That should be enough to shut them up. Suffice. Chit-Chat Done. To-The-Point.
If Ligabue is an Interista, then there will always be a reason.
[Rock singer and fan Reference.]
Remember, we had Facchetti.
Never miss a critical spirit or a special moment, but make sure that it doesn’t get to you superficially nor turn you into superficiality.
Whoever reminds you ‘May 5, 2002′ just reply with ‘May 5, 2010.’ End of story.
[2002: Juventus pipped Inter and Roma to the title. | 2010: Inter win the Coppa Italia against Roma and complete the double yet again, days off of the historic treble. Juventus lose out of a Champions League position.]
If they insist, remind them of the harsh treatment Udinese kindly gifted them a week before the Via del Mare in Lecce.
[Juve Gets a Beating Reference... again.]
Always be proud of not having aid of the referees and potato-heads.
[Calciopoli Reference. You can see many of these are “in-your-face” claims towards the pitiful Juventini.]
Always be proud to have men like Cambiasso, Stankovic, and Samuel in the squad.
[To all the Oldies haters out there...]
Don’t complain about now… you’re taking things for granted again. There are those who have suffered much more, and at much higher costs, for these colors.
Inter is a club that has the choice to never partner with betting companies.
[Reference to bwin shirt/jersey sponsorship for Real Madrid, Manchester United, AC Milan, and BetClic for Juve... mainly aimed at the other Italian clubs, of course.]
Do not forget Il Capitano… Beppe Bergomi. If you really want to though, go ahead and forget the commentator and pundit. Commenta——who?
“E’ gol, è gol, è gol!”. Roberto Scarpini. A fan, but not biased.
[Reference to the legendary voice behind Inter Channel as well as live commentator.]
If Vasco Rossi is an Interista, then there is a reason.
[Another rock singer Reference.]
Remember, we had Giuseppe Prisco.
[Wait... WHAT?! You DON'T know who Peppino is?! Why are you still reading this... go click here!]
Forget the slow-motion nonsense… you know… those replays on TV. Yet if you just cannot help yourself, then at least hit the “mute” button on the remote control.
Always be proud of Inter Campus and what they do.
Have you seen Zanetti lift the trophy in Madrid? Don’t ask for anything else.
[I don't think this needs any explaining. Look at the priceless expression on his face after some 37 years... Champions League... yes, finally!]
Do not forget Il Capitano… Sandro Mazzola. Though, déjà-vu… if you really want to, go ahead and forget the commentator. Mazzo? Hmm… great player!
The “fluidizing” role that involved a silky smooth form of play, as customized & tailored to Facchetti, was specially and uniquely invented by Helenio Herrera.
Take pride in never having dealt with ‘bad apples,’ whether it be on the field or behind the desk.
[Calciopoli Gripes Reference.]
Remember: You had José Mourinho. Done deal.
Always respond gently to those who pull in the name of Facchetti and associate him within the mess of Calciopoli in vain, as certain sort of idiocy just cannot be silently dealt with.
Do not be fooled… for false passports paid and troubled Inter; Recoba and Oriali were disqualified.
[Gabriele Oriali worked out a fake ancestral Italian passport to bring Àlvaro Recoba to Italy. Let's just say that it all ended up not working out too well for either of them. Recoba was handed a four-match ban and his citizenship status was relinquished while Oriali was sentenced to death... no, just kidding, but he was sanctioned.]
Don’t try to go beyond the [transfer market] rumors or beat yourself up to attempt to understand them. There are reasons for everything. And, if you just cannot do without them, then read them up on FedeNerazzurra.
[The original stated FCInterNews, and I suppose you can go for them if you understand Italiano and arguably dislike humor.]
Do not, for one second, believe everything that you read; our profession is not without jerks.
C’è Solo l’Inter. Leave out the other songs.
[(There's Only Inter… the hymn/anthem) Uhh… okay, I guess? Though personally, I think that Pazza Inter Amala is a beautiful song. Graziano Romani is truly gifted.]
Have you seen Milito score in the TIM Cup final, on the last day of the season, and in Madrid? Do not ask for any more.
[Reference to Milito's goals in the Coppa Italia against Roma, the Champions League Final against Bayern, and in the last Serie A match of that league year… against Siena.]
Losing 0-6 in a derby is not Pazza Inter, but rather Scarsa Inter.
Those of you who are complaining about now, rest assured: there are those who were disqualified in the first round of the Champions League against a team like Malmö.
[Guess who? Well… last I checked, Milan tied with them in last year's Champions League and then progressed through with a penalty shootout victory, so yes, you guessed it, it was us who lost against Malmö many years ago (Knockout Round of 1989).]
Remember that goal from Djorkaeff versus Roma? That’s magical forever.
[Reference to the wonder goal... impossibly scored by Youri Raffi Djorkaeff, known to be the best of his career. What's that? You want to see it on 'Teh YouTubez'? Sure… watch away (clicky)!]
Have you seen Eto’o spitting blood for a knitting as a young man? Do not ask for anything else.
[Reference to how poor Eto'o was as a child. In goal celebrations, he is known to slap and hit his left arm after scoring as a way to 'thank his parents for their blood.']
Never forget the simulations of Nedved.
[Diving References to the former Juve player.]
Always be proud of the letter J: Jair and Julio Cesar.
[You already know!]
Whoever makes fun of you because you might have a funny name… remind them of ‘Tarcisio Burgnich.’
[Burgnich? From the Herrera and Angelo Moratti days… vital to the European Cups we won. “After short spells at Udinese, Jeventus, and Palermo, it was with Internazionale that he found his spiritual home in the 1960s.” (Yes, I'm actually going to cite Wikipedia.)]
If Paul Bonolis is an Interista, there surely is a reason.
[Television host and actor Reference.]
Avoid regretting the decisions of those who wanted to leave Inter: you have not lost anything.
Always be proud of being able to count on fans like Gino Strada.
You may be complaining about now, but don’t bother. There are those who were dropped out of the Champions League against Helsingborg.
[Reference to the Swedish club defeating Inter 1-0 at the Olympia in 2000.]
Do not succumb yourself to fall into the ridiculous disquisitions about the 2006 World Cup; it’s pretty clear that Materazzi was the most decisive of the Blues.
Remember… Boninsegna played for Internazionale.
[Reference to Roberto Boninsegna, the great striker of the 70s.]
If Adriano Celentano is an Interista, then there is a reason.
[Reference to the Singer/Actor/Director/TV Host/Comedian.]
Always be proud of having seen Veron played under Mancini’s Inter.
Don’t think that all of Juventus’s elements are necessarily bad; think about Scirea, for example.
[Reference to probably the greatest defender of all-time right next to Paolo Maldini and Franco Baresi, and he just so happens to be a Juve legend.]
Sneijder actually wanted to go on, get over it. Best chance… move on.
[Man U - 2010, Arsenal & Man U - 2011, Liverpool & Galatasaray - 2012.]
Branca needs to explain some things. But so do Galliani (Didac Vilà and Traore) and Marotta (for Lucio and Bendtner).
Remember… you had Picchi as Il Capitano.
[Captain of Il Grande Inter from 1960 to 1967.]
Don’t bother complaining about the way things are right now; there are those who saw Inter with a green jersey.
Never forget Inzaghi’s simulations.
[The Juve & Milan Legend was known for his dives.]
Beware of imitations: the ‘dead leaf’ was first invented by Mariolino Corso.
[“Foglia Morta,” or dead leaf, is the story of an inspirational and memorable goal (the name coined for the way it was shot) scored by the Italian legend Mario Corso (Grande Inter player at the time)… ask me later if you want to know the vivid details, but this translation should show a rough idea.]
Maicon… how immensely strong he became all-of-the-sudden through-the-test-of-time since the days when he first arrived from Monaco! No wonder why no one questioned him nor asked Branca to explain the decision.
Always be proud to have had Nyers.
[That awesome Hungarian player… known to the older Interisti as Stefano.]
If Elio is an Interista, a reason will always be there.
[Elio Corno? The great Italian journalist who was an avid calico fan and often cried for Inter. Inter 3-1 Barça… 'Elio e le store tese' (c'è solo Inter).]
Zenga, Sarti, Pagliuca, Bordon, Toldo: Because the tradition of Italian goalkeepers is something that is in our history.
[Fingers crossed for Di Gennaro and Bardi.]
Never forget the 1997-98 nor the 2001-02 season. And if you weren’t there, then read more and learn about it. You will understand.
[I can explain… but I will follow the rule of the suggestion and allow you to voluntarily read up on the seasons yourself.]
A note to remember: The heart of Zamorano is worth a thousand Balotellis.
[Fair enough, yeah?]
If Franco Bomprezzi is an Interista, there is a reason.
[Italian Journalist Reference.]
Always be proud to have had Luisito Suarez with the No. 10 shirt.
[Ahhh... back in the day!]
Don’t complain about anything today… just don’t: for there are those who saw Lippi dismiss Simeone, Pagliuca, and Bergomi.
[Around 1997-98 season timeframe, Marcello Lippi—before becoming the manager of the national team and leading Italy to the World Cup title—wasn't making the best of choices. We said bye to some legends… argued over positions for the rest of the players.]
Have you seen Inter qualify at Camp Nou with just 10 men on the pitch from the 28th minute… all because of the first-half comedy skit by Busquets? Yeah… don’t ask for more.
Avoid colossal pessimism; it leads you nowhere but depression.
[A word of advice for our Stojan Mihajlovski… who just a day ago, wrote in the Inter vs. Bologna Starting Lineups story: “I am starting to think that hiring Mourinho and winning the treble was just pure luck…” Ummm….. yeeeeaaaah.]
Never forget that derby won with 9 men and a penalty save.
[2-0… Julio saves a Ronaldinho penalty at the end of the match, Sneijder and Lucio get sent off prior to the act. Proper stuff! And bloody heroic, too!]
If Gino e Michele are Interisti, then there is reason will always be there.
[Reference to the television personalities Luigi (Gino) Vignali and Michele Mozzati.]
To those who believe that the 2006-07 season was played with no opponents [because of the Calciopoli relegations], remember that Milan (who won the Champions League that season) was seconded in league assignment by 36 points. Impressive Inter!
Remember that Matthäus and Brehme played for Inter… it’s in the records.
If you’ve been teased about remembering Cosmin Contra, then just reply with “Hakan Sükür.”
[That'll show 'em! Milanista vs. Interista Players Reference.]
If they continue and remind you of Comandi, then just surrender. You should not get below certain levels.
[Comandini? 6-0 derby against Inter. That's pretty bad… right? Especially because he played 13 games and scored twice… both times being against Inter. And other than that… he didn't do anything special, just like Cosmin Contra.]
Always be proud of Andrea Stramaccioni. And less so with Giampiero Gasperini.
[Strama did more for Inter with three games than what Gasperini did with many teams his entire life.]
If Gabriele Salvatores is an Interista, then there’s another reason.
[The great Italian Academy Award-winning film director.]
Avoid those ungrammatical comments by Sky Sport’s Di Gennaro. Oh… and the poisonous jokes of Varriale in Rai, and the over-conceited and presumptuous transfer analyses by Bargiggia. Let’s say it’s better to weep. Or, at best… just cry.
[I think we've got ourselves a beater in the house!]
Sure… Discuss football referees purely; also: those who split matter… it’s all issues part of the conspiracy.
[Yes, that is indeed YOU, Luciano Moggi… and all of your referees. Thought you were going to win the entire world and get away with it, didn'chya?]
Remember Piero ‘Nasone’ Campelli? You know… the first Inter goalkeeper? Yeah… about that… he was the inventor of the ‘parade in the socket.’
[Check it here. Pretty much when the goalkeeper scoops up and hugs the ball like it's his first-born child… as the strikers are running towards him to scavenge it out of his bare hands and score a goal. Sweeeeeeet!]
A formal notice of reminder to those who talk about “playing nice” and making a beautiful game: in football, it’s who scores who WINS.
Those of you who are complaining about today’s situation… don’t bother going any further. There are those who saw Vampeta “graze on the lawn” of/at the Meazza.
[Vampeta, believe it or not, was actually an Inter player. He just sat there watching the game though.]
Today’s YouTube: Born on the goal of Nicolino Berti at Munich’s Olympiastadion.
[Okay, so… back in the day (and we are talking very far back), during the 80's heydays of afros, Beppe Bergomi, Beppe Baresi, Walter Zenga, short shorts, and droopily extra-large overhanging relaxed-fit football jerseys (which… let's face it and be honest, were about as exciting as a Shepherd's Pie from Cheshire), when Bayern did not have the Allianz Arena and instead used the Olympiastadion, Inter caused havoc in Germany by obliterating and mowing down two magnificent goals that are played back-and-back to this day. Needless to say, shortly thereafter, they ended up winning by the 2-0 in the end… (welcome thy hello déjà-vu to Mourinho's Inter against Bayern, which—not surprisingly—had the same exact scoreline of 2-0… except the fact that we were in Madrid, not their home turf). Oh, I almost forgot… that's right. Way back in the day means… no Pirelli. No Fiorucci. No Fitgar. Yes, you guessed it… Misura! And Nike? Oh-ho no! Umbro? Pfff… how about Uhlsport? Va bene! Anyway, trophy wives and brand names aside… emotions were felt that I cannot describe in layman's terms or... well, words, right now. So your best bet is to watch these highlights (I have the full game if you want me to upload it on Dropbox or somewhere of your preference). Check out how that second goal came about. Grazie mille, Nico Berti! Grazie mille, Diego Milito! BE SURE to wait for the end of the highlights in the video for some massively ultra-funky music.]
Never forget the night in Kiev.
[Memories from the Future. Dinamo Kiev… the road to the treble. This game was amongst the reasons for why we won the treble. Started fighting back VERY LATE after a 1-0 deficit in the entire game. Thanks to their terrible goalkeeper… got one goal in at the 86' minute mark, and the next goal right before the game ends in injury time. Basically… owned them within 5 minutes of the game's end. Watch some scrapped up highlights here. Yeah… remarkable stuff.]
Put this thought in your mind and think about it for a second: you could have been born a fan of another team.
Remember: Be a fan, but don’t be biased. Without opponents, Inter wouldn’t even exist.
Let’s make something very clear. “I do not steal or buy the championship in Serie B and I have never even been there.” Period. Got it?
And I think we’ll end it there with that one for now. Whew!
Well, there you have it, folks. I guess now would be the time to blast your comments, questions, Twitter hashtags, Foursquare geolocations, Tumblr swag, MySpace threats, pictures of your in-laws, the sandwich you had for breakfast this time around last year… whatever’s down in your heart… in the scribbly-thingamajig-box down below.
Source: FC Inter News (Well… some of it, at least.) [I tried.]
Photo Source: Third Party, originally inter.it
Special Thanks: Ali
* If you are unfamiliar with the marked words, then we need to go over the anthems, themes, and club chants together, amico mio / amica mia.
† Should any of the above not make sense to you, start a discussion below and I’ll try to explain it.
◊ It’s useful and worthwhile to point out that I found many of the points above are shared with the Ultras of Inter, so… you don’t necessarily need to take it with a grain of salt unless you’d want to.